Moving is a daunting process and moving cross-country is even worse.
Here is are four things I have learnt one month after moving to Cape Town.
1. Engaging fear in the process of moving
Fear and anxiety are normal responses to life’s stressors and have been defined in many different ways. Fear is bad when it acts as a blocker that prevents you from taking action. One way I make sense of fear is by trying to understand what it may be directed towards. This is not always that obvious. One way I overcome a fear is by engaging it. In other words, when I do something scary, my fear will be triggered which is uncomfortable. I push ahead because I have an opportunity to learn something new.
Moving to a new city is uncomfortable and may seem scary. But looking back on it one month later, it wasn’t so bad. Here’s why.
First of all, I like to plan and do a little bit every day. However, planning only gets you so far because when you’re deadline is up, and when it’s the day of the move, adrenaline kicks in and a lot has to happen within 24 hours. Your resilience wears down as you use your energy to drive cross country. The best way to cope when things get overwhelming is to be mindful of how you are feeling and ask for help when it gets too much. Help can come in many forms: getting a moving company to help you pack (we used Eezi Move), staying with a family member for a few days and relying on your partner who brings a variety of different strengths and strategies to the challenge.
2. Change is good for growth
What is better for growth, stability or change? They are both good but for different reasons. As soon as we made the decision to move the energy in my life immediately shifted. Experiencing change in the real world is good because it enables you to see a new perspective and find new avenues for growth. The first step to change starts in the mind, with a focus on your attitude and beliefs.
3. Dealing with a different kind of stress
There is a consensus that moving is one of the most stressful life events that you can experience. Even though I have moved many times before, the stress that comes with moving is unavoidable. The process of moving involves a financial cost and a lot of decision making. If you’re like us, you need to make a decision on every item that you own to decide whether it still has a purpose and whether it must be packed, sold, donated or recycled. Once you reach your new destination, you may not always move straight into your new residence and will need to coordinate when your furniture arrives, as well as arrange a place to stay until your move-in date. You need to navigate flux while still maintaining a high standard at work.
4. Framing moving as an opportunity instead of a threat is the key to adapting
When you find yourself in a new environment you will experience negative emotions, such as moments of disorientation because everything around you looks different, your friends are nowhere near, and all your things are in a different place. This change also greatly adds to the amount of cognitive load you may already be experiencing at work or in your personal life. It’s normal to feel more depleted at the end of the day or week and this is likely to persist until you find your feet. However, seeing a challenge as an opportunity transforms stress by giving it meaning. It’s not always possible to reframe stress but if you can, you will still be aware of the stress and stressors, but they will not be as threatening.
